There are days when anxiety dominates me,

It takes care of my body as if it is its owner.

The more I try to fight it,

The more my chest tightens, the tears flow

And the lump in my throat gets bigger, to the point where it’s difficult to breathe.

Then I feel like I am about to have a panic attack…

It’s better to give in and let it stay a little longer.

Annoyed, I resign myself to defeat and frustration,

At least it didn’t win completely, because the panic attack

It ended up being controlled just in time… it didn’t happen, for now.

But the knot is still here, the tightness from time to time

It gives signs of its presence, and the sighs never end!

The trip to recovery has begun, but the journey is long.

Why does the body go on alert

When apparently there are no great dangers lurking?

Could it be that my distraction is so great that

I cannot see what’s around the corner?

As always, my brain is still racing,

Trying to be multitasked and disciplined at the same time.

Of course there is no need to say how much it fails!

But I try to understand the reason for these feelings, this anguish.

There are several hypotheses that haunt my thoughts…

What doesn’t kill, GRINDS! And a lot!

I keep myself as busy as possible, I do my best,

But even so, there are days when I fail too!

I hate it when people are so focused on their own belly button

That they just feel sorry for themselves… they don’t solve anything, just complain!

I don’t think that’s what happens to me on days like this, but… is it?

Am I at a less conscious level feeling a “poor thing”?

Oh, for God’s sake! I can’t!!!

I always try to focus on solutions, not problems.

I’ve stopped, most days, trying to understand the why

Behind the events and traumas.

But, on the days when something worries me – even unconsciously –

Anxiety and depression see a great opportunity to dominate and win!

They take advantage of everything they can find,

They just want to “add as much fuel to the fire” as possible.

When they appear, it’s to smash!

So, on days like this, thoughts that I had considered to be already more than controlled

They return to the surface – to my surprise – bringing other ghosts with them as company…

It is often said that “misfortune never comes alone”,
I agree and subscribe – unfortunately.
It’s as if, a drawer that we didn’t even remember having, was opened.
And all the musty and dusty smells start to fly overhead.
Even if you try to close the drawer as quickly as possible,
The air is already contaminated…
We then open the windows, but we are only spreading the air to the other parts of the house
Through the wings of air currents.
Then, out of nowhere, “buried” things start to appear
– Fears, phobias, anger, guilt, … and I just want it all to disappear again!
The frustration of no longer being able to control what I think and feel
It makes me feel weak, useless, a fake!
– Anxiety increases again!!!