Letter for you…my little one?
I’m wondering how it will be when you are next to me, Have you in my arms, feel your warmth and your baby’s smell. Will you have my eyes, my…
Mirror vs X-Ray
I look at myself in the mirror. What do I see?
A small but round face,
brown eyes that shine like they’ re smiling.
The nose a little bit turned-up…
I’m not snobbish at all, but my nose, well…
I think it has its own personality! ☺️
I love my sweet and natural smile.
But don’t be fooled as l can also have a cheeky and mean,
shy, embarrassed, kind and happy smile.
It depends on the occasion and who am I with!
(I love a very good laugh!)
There are also the freckles that I don’t like.
Well, during the winter, they don’t bother me too much,
but as soon as the sun is out,
the freckles catch every sunbeam and grow darker.
The only nice thing about it
is that I become tanned very quickly!
Then there is the dark brown hair, covering the ears.
This has also a strong personality:
wavy from the root to the middle,
then forming curls from the middle down to the end.
(It seems like just half of the hair is mine
– the curls – of course, I love them!)
This is the reflection of my image, the one that everyone can see!
But what happens when I look closer?
Well, then I feel like I’m looking at an X-Ray.
But instead of seeing bones in white and organs in black,
I can see something different – something that is just mine!
I can still see black and white but my perception is completely distinct. Why?
Let me just simplify.
The white are all the experiences that I treasure,
the black bits are scars that are still healing.
Looking inside makes me reflect / ruminate.
All bodies look the same on an X-Ray,
it’s like a standard canvas,
but the experiences and scars are unique to each one of us
– we share the body but not the “soul”.
My canvas has a lot of nice experiences,
unique moments of happiness,
terror, adrenaline, courage, fear, pride, and many others.
All of them taught me lessons, some humbled me
and others I keep as a reminder!
We hear and probably also say it: “Time heals everything!”,
Well I guess I understand the meaning behind it.
It doesn’t mean that the pain will ever disappear,
what means is that after a while we adapt,
we learn to live and deal with what remains in us!
I like to think of a bad experience like a stain.
In the beginning its what is exposed – ALL WE CAN SEE –
no matter how small it might be.
Then, after a few washes, the stain starts to lighten,
and it’s not so noticeable.
And after many washes we almost don’t remember the stain is there
– we know it is, but consciously we no longer give it the same importance that we once did.
We know it’s there, but we just ignore it.
When we get to this stage, the black bits become now gray ones
– not completely white because they once caused pain,
but now don’t hurt the same way,
hence the colour has become lighter, similar to the previous stain.
When I allow myself to go even deeper,
I can dive into specific experiences / moments.
I can see and feel a lot of:
pain, rage, hate, guilt, shame, disgust, frustration,
anger, confusion, anxiety, exhaustion, desperation,
happiness, laughter, encouragement, pleasure, joy,
enthusiasm, peace, love, support, courage, …
– it all depends on where am I looking.
I would love to be able to change a few things, but then,
the end result it would be another version of me,
not the one I am now!…
Making introspections like this allows me
to better understand myself, others and to be more empathetic.
In a certain way, all feelings and emotions are important,
teaching us different values and even becoming a little bell / alarm sometimes…
I feel intensely and I had to learn how to control them.
Now I’m better at it. 💪🏼
When I think properly I wonder:
“how many people really know the full version of myself – all the good and bad of me?“
1, maybe 2 people?!
Why do we need to protect what is beyond the reflection in the mirror?
Why can’t we be honest and transparent with everyone?
Why is there so much judgement?
Well, we probably are the ones that judge ourselves before anyone else does…!
Our fear of disappointing others sometimes can be tough.
It was a big issue dealing with it for me in the past,
now I don’t care so much!
I just trust 1 or 2 people, to the others I’m much more superficial and lighter.
I wonder: “how many masks do we use in a single day?“
Well, I guess I might use at least 3 or 4. And you?
Remember the times that you are worried about something,
when you are tired, when you get frustrated, …
but no matter what you need to keep being professional and calm?
Oh boy – I really hate that… I try to pretend that I’m okay
but my face expressions give everything away – no matter what!
Well, at least people know where to stand with me…
So, in our day-to-day life we need to keep a mirror face
– the best one we have to be able to keep appearances, unfortunately,
but it’s so good to have someone that we can share our x-ray with,
someone that knows us well enough to be there no matter what.
I am blessed to have someone like this in my life – ME included!
These introspections are essential to be done from time to time,
that’s the way we can see our improvements, flaws, mistakes,
comparing them to previous days / months / situations, …
Life is a constant change and so are we
– we must aim for the best version of ourselves always!
We will not reach perfection, but we will learn a lot,
understand things that years ago we were clueless about.
In a way, we will be the detectives of our own path
and also the only common denominator!
What is your opinion? Are you going to look in the mirror the same way?! 😅
- Post's Keywords:
- adaption
- emotions
- empathy
- experiences
- happiness
- healing
- introspection
- feelings
- masks
- mirror
- pain
- personality
- reflection
- scars
- x-ray
Mirror vs X-Ray
A small but round face, brown eyes that shine like they’ re smiling. The nose a little bit turned-up… I’m not snobbish at all, but my nose, well…
“Follow your heart!”??
Have you ever heard or even used the expression “Follow your heart!” before? I’m sure you have. But is it a sensible decision to make?
I’m not a victim, but a warrior and survivor!
Today, I feel the need to talk about something that I’ve been keeping inside me for too long.