JoTita Gonçalves

If most of the time the heart gets us into trouble, why do people keep saying to follow it? Are we meant to be masochists?

Well, I assume that sometimes people also believe that something positive will come from some difficult situations. But often they don’t have all the details because most of the time we only tell them the good things! Thus, their support.

Others just say that because it’s a cliché, so people hear that and they just say it back, without even thinking what that really means.

I’m not saying that there might be times that we are actually doing the right thing when we follow our heart! (For example, when our heart compels us to help someone; when we just reciprocate the hug received from a strange child; we forgive someone that did us wrong; …).

But in my case, when I follow my heart’s lead, I usually end up regretting it at some point. Maybe not on the same day or the next one, but maybe in a month or even a year after… Because people change, we change, and situations also change. So, in the middle of all those changes, there are things that at first were considered, that are not on the table any longer… Unfortunately, this happens more often than I would like to admit!… But why? Well, many reasons…

Do you know what gets me the most?! Usually, I can feel in my gut when something doesn’t seem right, but because I decide to ignore my rational voice, well, then I pay the consequences and I tell myself: “I knew it! How could I have been so dumb?” But it’s already too late!

So, because of many bad experiences and scams that I’ve been caught in, I’m trying to listen more to my rational voice: “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is!” and I can tell you that being more sensible has been a good thing for me. Of course, sometimes I act impulsively – and I get myself in trouble in other ways – by saying what everyone wants to say but doesn’t have the courage to!

Well, I guess one way or another, I’ll always be in trouble – but at least, I will not be hurting myself and/or losing money. Okay, I’m also trying hard to not be so blunt and honest – society cannot handle the truth, so people prefer lies rather than facing reality! (NOT ME!) I prefer to be hurt upfront by the truth than to later feel deceived and betrayed – the pain is doubled then!

So, what did I learn from the vicious cycle?

1. When I let my feelings take control of the situation, that increases the chance of disaster to 90%;

2. The craving for success is so big that I struggle to look at things logically. I see so many people having their big chance, and I want it so badly for myself as well, that once again, I just want to believe that this will be my opportunity to have a break and finally breathe;

3. I ignore all the red flags and even make up excuses to not listen to what my gut is screaming at me, and I go ahead, already regretting it – so, I don’t even enjoy it;

4. I can see myself disappointed because I have no one having the same view as me instead of listening to them (another red flag – I am in the middle of the problem, so most of the time I will struggle to see the big picture! – also 2 against 1 is a fair amount to make me consider it – to say the least!